Letting Go of Fixing Others and Earning Trust Instead

 

Hi there! Lately, I’ve been on a bit of a personal journey—one that’s reshaped how I think about relationships and, more importantly, myself. It all started when I realized I was spending a lot of mental energy trying to “fix” people around me instead of focusing on earning their trust and simply being who I am. This week, I want to share this fresh perspective and a little gem of a book that helped me along the way.

Have you ever caught yourself wanting to change someone else, convinced that you know what’s best for them? I sure have. It’s a trap many of us fall into: taking on the role of the fixer rather than the listener, the challenger rather than the supporter. But as I’ve been learning, there’s something far more powerful—and far gentler—in shifting the focus back to ourselves.

The book I’ve been reading, Let Them Theory. (yes, the title itself is a little like a breath of fresh air), invites you to embrace boundaries, trust, and self-respect. It’s about carving out space for others to flourish in their own way while you do the same on your terms. The essence? Letting people be themselves doesn’t mean detachment or indifference—it means respect and the confidence to be authentic without trying to control.

Here’s what really struck me: earning trust isn’t about changing others or forcing agreement. It’s about consistency, openness, and showing up honestly—especially with ourselves. When I stopped obsessing over “fixing” friends, colleagues, or family members, the quality of those connections improved naturally. Trust felt more mutual, and I felt a lot lighter.

If this resonates with you, I highly recommend taking some time to reflect on where in your life you might be wearing the fixer’s hat without realizing it. Are there moments when you stifle your own desires or authentic expression in an effort to “help” someone else? What would it look like if you simply let people be, while honoring your own wishes and boundaries?

It’s not always easy—old habits die hard, and sometimes our intentions get tangled with control. But stepping into this mindset is also incredibly freeing. It’s a practice of kindness and trust on all sides.

Thanks for reading this little reflection with me. Next week, I’m excited to dive into practical ways to build trust daily—simple habits that nurture connection without pressure or expectation. Until then, may you find space to be your true self and grace to let others do the same.

Here’s to trust, authenticity, and a little less fixing.