Disowned children

 In my experience from what I understand sometimes parents have unresolved issues. The issues can rise from being disowned themselves. And having a stigma or a very strong boundary. And anyone who violates such a thing. It triggers their own disownement.  The old tape played as a loop; to their present i've made a list of reasons why parents  disowned children. 

I didn't realize I shared inappropriately, while trying to be vulnerable. I scared/&pushed loved ones away.  I realize with my ability to make sense of messages from others and my own emotional baggage I've told self limiting false beliefs...I'm practicing unpacking; knowing where i end and others begin.  To become my authentic self and accept my feelings.   To realize when my needs aren't met.   Im healing My dysfunctional behavior. And, making progress living in the Solution. 

I told brother why I left home, (1979) in the yr of 2001 after deployment and return home i was disowned, 20 yrs later still disowned. 

reasons parents disown children

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Parents may disown their children due to various reasons, including severe family conflict, differences in personal values, substance abuse, or behaviors perceived as unacceptable. This decision is often difficult and can stem from a desire to protect their own well-being and safety.

Disowned because of telling family secrets

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Disowning a child for revealing family secrets can stem from several underlying issues. Here are some key reasons why this might happen:

Breach of Trust

When a child shares family secrets, it can be seen as a significant breach of trust. Parents may feel that their child has violated the confidentiality that is expected within the family unit, leading to feelings of betrayal.

Protecting Family Reputation

Parents might disown a child to protect the family's reputation or image. If the secrets involve sensitive or damaging information, the parents may fear the repercussions on their social standing or relationships with others.

Control and Power Dynamics

In some families, maintaining control over information is crucial. Disclosing secrets can disrupt the established power dynamics, leading parents to react strongly to reassert their authority.

Emotional Response

The emotional impact of revealing secrets can lead to heightened reactions. Parents may feel anger, shame, or embarrassment, prompting them to distance themselves from the child as a way to cope with these feelings.

Cultural or Generational Differences

In some cultures or families, discussing personal matters outside the family is strictly taboo. A child revealing secrets may be viewed as a violation of cultural norms, leading to disownment as a form of punishment.

Lack of Understanding

Sometimes, parents may not understand the child's motivations for sharing secrets. They might perceive it as a deliberate act of defiance rather than an attempt to seek help or express feelings.

Disownment is a complex and often painful decision, and the reasons can vary widely based on individual family dynamics and circumstances.

Parents may disown their children due to various reasons, including severe family conflict, differences in personal values, substance abuse, or behaviors perceived as unacceptable. This decision is often difficult and can stem from a desire to protect their own well-being and safety. BBC newportinstitute.com

Reasons Parents Disown Their Children

Family Conflict

• Disagreements: Parents may disown children due to ongoing conflicts or disagreements over values, lifestyle choices, or personal beliefs.
• Substance Abuse: Issues like addiction can lead parents to sever ties for their own safety and mental health.

Behavioral Issues

• Violent Behavior: Parents may feel compelled to disown children who exhibit violent or dangerous behavior, especially if it threatens the safety of other family members.
• Criminal Activity: Involvement in criminal activities can strain relationships, leading parents to cut off contact.

Emotional and Psychological Factors

• Mental Health Issues: Parents may struggle to cope with a child's mental health challenges, leading to feelings of helplessness and eventual estrangement.
• Abuse: Experiences of abuse, whether physical or emotional, can prompt a parent to disown a child as a means of self-protection.

Societal and Cultural Pressures

• Cultural Expectations: In some cases, parents may disown children who do not conform to cultural or societal norms, such as those related to marriage or lifestyle choices.
• Stigma: The stigma surrounding certain behaviors or identities can lead parents to distance themselves from their children.

Financial and Legal Considerations

• Disinheritance: Disownment can also involve financial implications, such as cutting off inheritance or financial support, often as a form of punishment or control.

Disownment is a complex and painful decision, often resulting from a combination of these factors.